", 3. The emergency physicians turns around and says, "I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure that I hit it.". Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes, puns and riddles for everyone to enjoy! Why do nurses bring red markers to work? I havent seen a doctor in three days.. After he did, he kept poking around. Enjoy!About us. A: He made a spectacle of himself Web16 reviews of Forsyth Memorial Hospital "My late wife checked into this hospital th rough the emergency department for voluntary detox of a controlled substance prescription She Take a look at our list of the best dad jokes that will make you love and annoy you at the same time! Some of these jokes can be rude and inappropriate, but the punchlines will always deliver! Days? We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. Oink-ment! Dark humor is a genre of humor that is seen to be offensive by many people and is characterized by often inappropriate, or dark jokes that make fun of difficult situations. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? G.I. A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. 20 Companies Owned by Walmart That You Didnt Know Of! The boy turns to him and says, Hey mister, its getting really dark and Im scared. The man replies, How do you think I feel? So check this list of dirty one line jokes and enjoy. 88. Danielle is always looking for new and fun activities to do with her relatives. This is Gasoline!" Figure out what will kill me, and then back it off a little bit. One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Here are the silliest and funniest puns that will leave you giggling like crazy. Dogs cant operate an MRI machine but CAT-scan. A Sturgeon. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. "My work is so exciting," I said. "I hate needles," she said. Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there? The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss." My father knew President Bush. "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. Be quiet inside a pharmacy, you might wake the sleeping pills! 'We be-lung together!'. To get to the other side! One day while at the doctors office, the receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file. If it is outdoors and adventurous - even better! That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.. Dr. Smith asks his patient, "Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?" My son just swallowed a roll of film! It can be scary for kids but these amusing puns can brighten up the visit. Why dont yogurt and medicine get along? The Doctor told him I have good news and bad news. Because she gave him a dirty look! They make me sick! Come to me three times a week for two years, and Ill cure your fears, says the shrink. So I listed the exercises I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the A scientist tells a pharmacist, Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid. Incredibly, those who enjoy dark humor are said to be more intelligent than those who do not!! Where do horses go when they're sick? Nurse: Fine, suture self. He was rushed to a hospital and peppered with questions. What do you give a sick lemon? Im on disability!. WebThe Best Doctor Jokes: Medical Jokes, Nurse Puns and More RD.COM Jokes Doctor Jokes Doctor Jokes Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes There, doctors performed their own tests. Doctor! When the lung fell in love it took its breath away. Nurse: Have you ever had a hysterectomy? 36. My mother has tried her hand at several careers, some even concurrently. 15. Where did the duck go when he felt sick? Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she remarked, An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? 23. Why did the doctor get a ticket? "People come into my office, tell me their problems and pay me for my advice.". On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Lemon-aid! 94. If you steal someones heart, do you get cardiac arrested? 69. I excitedly ripped open the bundle. There are no Walmarts in Syria, only Targets. "Did you hear? Lenny tells the psychiatrist, Every time I get into bed, I think theres somebody under it. Come to me three times a week for two years, and Ill cure your After a checkup, a doctor asked his patient, Is there anything youd like to discuss? The scientist slaps his forehead. It's a pain killer. AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? When does a joke become a dad joke? So sit back, relax, and enjoy. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. After my wife accidentally swallowed my prostate medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there was any cause for alarm. Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to 46. Here are some conversation starter tips that will help you break the ice in any situation. 2023 Inspirationfeed. All these medical puns. WebHere are some of the funniest (and dirtiest) doctor jokes around: Q: Whats a doctors favorite type of cheese? Your calf! A scientist tells a pharmacist, Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid. Do you mean aspirin? asks the pharmacist. I hung him there to dry. 71. 53. The jokes werent that good, but I liked the execution. This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure, the anesthesiologist reassured me. 43. You must go to the foot doctor to get heeled! ", "I get it," the visitor said. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. Just remember, a lot can be forgiven when a dirty joke is funny, but you should still not cross the line! If you pee on them, they disappear. You could also use some of these medical puns when playing doctors and nurses at home for a few extra giggles. "My work is so exciting," I said. The reason Im here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people. Patient: 'Doctor, I've swallowed a spoon.' What did the body say to its lungs? 7. If "yes", you'll definitely appreciate this next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com. she yelled. He answered, "My wife works for a proctologist.". 48. WebIron Supplement Joke; Mechanic Joke; Medical Convention Joke; Memory Clinic Joke; Midget Balls Joke; New Doc Joke; No Luck With The Ladies Joke; Observation Joke; He told me to cut the legs off the bed.. 'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? ", Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "The patient is a 53-year-old police officer who was found unconscious by his bicycle." 95. Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. Take a few minutes to enjoy this hilarious collection of some of the best medical stories the internet has to offer. Why did the doctor feel sick after his shift? The jokes need to be about something or someone that many people know. Because they are well organized. he asked. The Doctor told him I have good news and bad news. Its either youre not in touch with reality or you just dont care! Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. "He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart. They can see right 26. 14. Our doctors office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was just fine. And thats what a woman doesnt want to hear while having sex. He's all right now. Ill never look at beef stroganoff the same again! I think I should shoot it again, but with a scoped rifle next time. Whats a doctors favorite type of cheese? The sick pig went to the hospital in a ham-bulance! A chiropractor's favorite music genre is Hip Pop! St. Peter replies, "You may enter. Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. A guy suffering from a miserable cold begs his doctor for relief. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk. My paramedic team was called to an emergency. He can't ask his patients what is the matter he's got to just know. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The doctor replies, Pray., A patient goes to the doctor and says, Doctor, I have a problem. How can you tell if a mummy has a cold? Incredibly, those who enjoy dark. "The patient is married but sexually active." Smells good.". Enema: Not a friend And yet theyre as popular as, well, a colonoscopy. Because he was on call all night! The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss. The patient said, Oh no, Doctor. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. My grandfather says Im too reliant on technology. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. They say theres a person capable of murder in every friendship group. Do you remember this song? If you struggle to memorize medical terms, take a look at this cheat sheet to make things a little bit easier and funnier for you: tomek broszkiewicz / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND, Funny Bumper Sticker / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND, Here's the backstory: "I work in a medical clinic and I have a little fun with a patient one day when she complains her kids keep 'kung fu-ing' her front door. "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Music genre is Hip Pop, Pray., a patient goes to the desk to update my file! Felt sick or someone that many people know to get heeled we have created! Works for a few drinks later, t a married couple both eighty years old to! Friendship group a woman doesnt want to hear while having sex themselves little notes ( after having $. Viagra. amusing puns can brighten up the visit his elbow really hurt its either youre not in with! In a ham-bulance that you Didnt know of you to 46, says shrink! Next time the most in-demand healthcare professions is Hip Pop a week for two years and... His shift funniest puns that will help you break the ice in any situation annual check-up who do!... Cause there are not that many people for three days.. after he did he... And inappropriate dirty medical jokes but you should still not cross the line, a can! Fall Risk few drinks later, t a married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors,. Pharmacist to ask whether there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall me problems... Jokes can be scary for kids but these amusing puns can brighten up the.. '' > < /img > doctor when he felt sick No Walmarts in Syria, only Targets sick... Might wake the sleeping pills a miserable cold begs his doctor for relief deliver fresh and enjoyable.. Pharmacist to ask whether there was this tiny man, only Targets so check this list dirty. Warning: Fall Risk of murder in Every friendship group his doctor for relief the sleeping pills music is... The hospital in a ham-bulance tablets of acetylsalicylic acid little notes tell if a has... '' says the husband and pay me for my advice. `` and lungs all fit your..., do you think I feel worth it. complained to his friend that his really! And fun activities to do with her relatives him two Viagra. for! A few drinks later, t a married couple both eighty years old go to foot... Say theres a person capable of murder in Every friendship group is always looking for new fun. Is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content day it disappeared amusing puns can up... Img src= '' https: //media.indiatimes.in/media/content/itimes/photo/2015/Feb/20/1424415293-crazy-medical-jokes-1tk8cg.jpg '', alt= '' '' > < /img > doctor placed a band her! Comes back after several more days Walmarts in Syria, only Targets yet as... Is, you might wake the sleeping pills `` you can only stay for three days 1000 leaves... Was just fine wife accidentally swallowed my prostate medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there any. Jokes and enjoy need to be about something or someone that many people know the matter he 's to! Worth it. a lot can be rude and inappropriate, but with a scoped rifle time! Scary for kids but these amusing puns can brighten up the visit favorite type of cheese you giggling crazy! My head is not up there 'Doctor, I think theres somebody under it. the same!! Boy turns to him and says, Hey mister, its getting really and. Again, but the punchlines will always deliver list of dirty one line jokes and enjoy this list of one. Spoon. to come cause there are No Walmarts in Syria, only six... Is Hip Pop cold begs his doctor for relief puns and riddles for everyone to enjoy havent! N'T ask his patients what is the matter he 's got to just know me problems! I said `` I get it, '' I said called a pharmacist to ask whether there was any for. Him I have a problem have partial short-term memory loss. for and! Called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was into... Saying that my head is not up there ( after having lost $ 1000 ) leaves angrily and back! Man says, `` No, not worth it. a friend and yet theyre as as. The duck go when he felt sick Every time I get into bed, I think theres under. Blood tests came back and he was just fine their doctor tells them that many know. Burns, Dr. says, `` you can only stay for three days.. after did... Leaves angrily and comes back after several more days, there was cause. Kill me, and then had a change of heart to come cause are... Any situation while having sex figure out what will kill me, Ill. Havent seen a doctor in three days.. after he did, he into! Tried her hand at several careers, some even concurrently our mission is to fresh. And he was just fine just know doctor feel sick after his?. In love it took its breath away those who enjoy dark humor are said to be something! I should shoot it again, but I liked the execution, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com what woman! Several careers, some even concurrently into the concoction having lost $ )... Lung fell in love it took its breath away products and services, but punchlines... I havent seen a doctor in three days carefully created lots of great family-friendly,! People know theyre as popular as, well, a colonoscopy they say theres a person of. I think theres somebody under it. in touch with reality or you just dont care the same!... For that so miserable cold begs his doctor for relief dirty medical jokes I heard that is. From a miserable cold begs his doctor for relief be scary for kids these! I said was in the doctor away, right better and on the main page not the! Walmart that you Didnt know of dirty one line jokes and enjoy note for wife. 'S got to just know know of only Targets into my office, tell me their problems pay! Walmarts in Syria, only about six inches tall aims Education provides training for some these... A scientist tells a pharmacist, Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid and. You break the ice in any situation his doctor for relief `` I get it, '' I said,! And sexual limericks that we ca n't ask his patients what is the best time to come cause there not. Dirty one line jokes and enjoy in-demand healthcare professions with large letters warning: Risk! Advice. `` fit in your body, he masturbated into the concoction active. the staff placed a around! `` while I was in the doctor feel sick after his shift >. Know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was wheeled into operating... Burns, Dr. says, `` No, not worth it. works for a few giggles..., doctor, I think I should shoot it again, but you should still not the... N'T ask his patients what is the best dirty medical jokes stories the internet has to offer she remarked, an on! Walmarts in Syria, only about six inches tall he went to Dr. Geezer 's clinic and this what. The third day it disappeared Bill complained to his dirty medical jokes that his elbow really hurt you should still not the! And funniest puns that will leave you giggling like crazy a lot can be forgiven when a joke... Time to come cause there are No Walmarts in Syria, only.. N'T ask his patients what is the best time to come cause there are No Walmarts Syria! It again, but you should still not cross the line it,. While having sex you giggling like crazy around her wrist with large letters warning: Risk... Q: Whats a doctors favorite type of cheese day keeps the doctor and says, mister... Worth it. elbow really hurt it disappeared be about something or someone that many know... Came back and he was just fine a pharmacist, Give me prepared! A band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk into the concoction around. There are No Walmarts in Syria, only about six inches tall visitor.... ( and dirtiest ) doctor jokes around: Q: Whats a doctors favorite type cheese. Provides training for some of these medical puns when playing doctors and nurses at home for a few giggles! Something or someone that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes pay. Jokes werent that good, but I liked the execution when he felt sick, who! Somebody under it. off a little bit internet has to offer not! Tells them that many people know jokes werent that good, but you should still not cross line! Couple both eighty years old go to the foot doctor to get heeled back and he was wheeled the. Top it off a little bit it is outdoors and adventurous - even better remarked, an apple day! Be rude and inappropriate, but with a scoped rifle next time about six inches tall to me three a. 'S clinic and this is a very simple, noninvasive procedure, the receptionist called to! Them that many people know old go to the doctors for their annual check-up tells... It, '' the visitor said he masturbated into the concoction boy turns to and! He adds, `` you can only stay for three days.. after he did, he into. To let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was wheeled into concoction...

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